Thursday, June 20, 2013

My Birthday Party!!!

So I'm sittin' up on my bed, plugged in, listenin' to dancing in the dark as I write an essay for some rich Chinese kid who had his birthday on the weekend and had been celebrating all week, so got late at his submissions. And this is my birthday present. Anyway, I need a break from it, I need to dress up, with blazer and all, and go to Soda Factory, a nice little pub around the corner. See I've never been to a pub alone, so am a little nervous. I'm not looking for any of my mates' company but hoping to find some new out here, although I'm quiet sure I won't because I'm weird like that. I'm quiet astound by the sight of people sitting alone at the bar at Soda Factory, never had noticed that before. I'm sure I wouldn't want to be pally with someone who came alone to a bar, especially if they expected to meet someone there. Right? Right! Ah they are playing Smash Mouth, glorious school days! I sure wish I could talk to somebody, anybody. It seems so easy for people, man this is not for me! I'll grab a bloody expensive beer to sit by myself, could have done that for one seventh of the price if I sat in the park, like everyday, with better music in my headphones. Ah! Aerosmith! This is not bad, although the beer sucks. Believe me I've never even tried Kingfisher, fuck that! Those girls at the bar, do they get hit on a lot? I'm sure they do, I would rather go out with one of them than the one sittin' alone. Okay I know! Whatever! Good for the hunk chattin' up with them. Man I need to be regular at the gym. No I dont want to get that big! Fuck no, he looks ugly in my opinion, I don't know why these girls flock around people like him. He's wearing a white denim! Was he in a tampon commercial? No I'm not jealous. I'm analytically criticising. There is a difference... and the difference is... confidence? Well I do need more. And I need to pee. But do I really need to look for acne on my face in the bathroom mirror? Beware: objects in the mirror are more insecure than they appear! Have I lost too much weight? I feel I need to get leaner. Damn what's wrong with me? When did I grow a vagina? I need more beer. Man I've got my whole life wrong. Then again what 'right' be? I had something in mind once, I forget. I know I'm onto something but I don't know what. Like the number 42. I know the answer but I don't know the question to it. Was I supposed to be here? Not at home for sure! Sure as hell I'm glad I'm not with the people I hoped to be with, fuck them! Ah Elvis! This song reminds me of her! Fuck my life! I need a new life, new name. I need a new name. Well I do need a pen name and I can't put my finger on it. Fuck it I'll go with Tyler. Why not? I need the change over. Man I wish I could meet myself from somebody else's point of view. Girls have left me pointing out flaws I didn't know I had. What's fucked up is that I could never point at any flaw they had. Its the flaws that I fell in love with. Maybe that is what the problem is. Fuck you Elvis, this is your fault. Gotta get outta here. So much to do. I'm going to sneak up to my room again, finish the fucking essay. Then stay awake watching Game Of Thrones. I wish I could sleep before 4am. I fucking dread the dreams. I should get some medication. Maybe I'll get  a pill for tonight. Yeah fuck it! It's my Birthday! Happy birthday to me!

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

From The Cave

I saw into my eye closely and scared me to shits. He didn't seem like me. Nothing I would be. Stranger staring right into you, knowing everything you know, it's scary. And made me think if I really am on the right side of the mirror. Am I? Am I in control of myself? Or am I just a reflection of something much stronger? Am I just an image? Are you?

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

The Red Pill

There is no watching the fight outside your window, sooner or later the rocks will shatter your glass. You can only become a part of the fight, or step away from the window and go back to sleep and let them take care of you. The control machine. They'll keep you in the cave, away from pain, truth, choice and all the poison devils as long as you visit the shopping mall. Of course It's all about money, Its always been, we saw that through the twentieth century and thought we'd learn. Far from it. But now its time to realise that we are not putty in their hands. We are people. We have our own bodies and our own minds and our own will. We will not give into the fashion scene. Don't you'll ever think about the fashion scene? Fashion was meant to make us standout, make us unique, but we all look alike. We don't think of ourselves that way. We are all unique, we are all ourselves, we are all people, we are all human, and we should not submit to the dehumanisation. I'm concerned with what's happening in our world. The control machine has made the matrix come true. Its not science fiction. We live in a world that is pulled over our eyes by the machine to blind us from the truth. Everything you know is a part of an elaborate dream. When you visit the zoo and see the animal in the cage, are you sure which side you're on? I want freedom! And thats what you should want. Freedom from everything negative the media makes us believe the world is about. Freedom from the corporate slavery. The joystick of control for the machine is insecurities.  That is what advertising creates. And advertising is all around us, even when you don't see it. We are all pathetic and small, so we should give up our will, our freedom, our fate, right? What we don't realise is that we are all being conditioned on a mass scale. The consent is manufactured, gender roles are learnt. Stand up and refuse to be a corporate tool. Stand up against the lies, against classism, against stateism and all the other isms tools of control. Let this be the time for human kind standing up for right, for freedom, for purity, for love. Right wing, Left wing, Faith, Democrats, Liberals, its all bat shit, it's all incentive for the control of the joystick. Your colleagues who have convinced you that they are better than you and are fighting for the management jobs to become your bosses and control you! They are not real people. Neither is everyone around you. They are all programmes working hard, as they are asked to, to control other programmes. Wake up motherfuckers! your'e in the matrix!

But we have not lost. We will not lose. This not the end. We are not under achievers, we are not an unsuccessful race. Agree?